Being Wrong is Alright

In my time in the Air Force we had a saying, “You’re wrong.” It meant something was wrong with your uniform, or maybe it was something you were or were not doing. It was kind of a not so low key signal to check yourself. When I was a little airman first-class at my first base, I bumped into my supervisor on the way into the morning huddle. I was wearing my blues that day. That means I was up the night before ironing everything, lint rolling everything, shining my shoes, lining up my ribbons, polishing my nameplate, the whole thing. Regardless, when I bumped into Sergeant Maldonado, he said, “You’re wrong.” I immediately went into a frenzy. I checked the creases on my sleeves, I looked at my shoes, checked my gig line was straight, made sure I had all my pins in, and each time I studied his face for some clue that I had gotten warmer. After a good 30 seconds or so, he pointed at my ribbons and informed me that two of them needed to switch places. There are a lot of reactions I could have had to that. I could have been impressed with his knowledge of regulations. I could have been thankful for the correction. I went with seething over it for weeks. 

It’s Not Fun

The thing is, none of us like to be wrong. Actually, to be more specific, being wrong is fine. It feels a lot like being right. The problem comes when we find out we are wrong. That part sucks. A survey done by PsychTests in 2019 shows that 65% of those surveyed said that criticism from others absolutely devastates them. I can attest to this feeling myself. I have two great kids whom I homeschool. My daughter, when she first started out, would be moved to tears if she thought she got anything wrong. She still struggles with that. None of us like being wrong. It’s degrading. It makes you feel inadequate. It reminds us that we are not sufficient alone.

Is It Really So Bad

Lately, I have kind of turned a corner on my feelings around being wrong. I have kind of come to enjoy it, even seek it out. Being wrong is an opportunity to grow and learn. Niel DeGrasse Tyson has a quote that sums up my feelings on it well. 

“I love being wrong, because that means in that instant, I learned something new that day.” ~Niel Degrasse Tyson

It’s also fundamental to the empirical method that underpins the scientific method, and almost every Agile framework. In very simple terms, you commit to a continuous loop of setting up an experiment, observing the results, drawing conclusions, adapting the experiment and observing again. On the assumption that this is handled carefully to avoid bias and ignoring the fact that almost every observation method corrupts almost every experiment, this is a great tool for finding truth. It is certainly the best we have right now. However, it’s useless unless we can be comfortable with, or even pursue being wrong. Similarly, most Agile frameworks are built on a similar loop. Two of the three pillars of Scrum are inspect and adapt. We build something small quickly, get it in front of a user, get feedback, and make updates. We do this over and over. We get nothing from this cycle if we are never wrong. It might feel good, but how much value are we getting out of it? Are we pushing boundaries? Are we innovating? Are we coming up with the best solutions for our customer? How do we know if we aren’t getting it wrong on occasion?

The other pillar of Scrum is transparency. Agile implementations fail all the time because they can’t get the hang of this. People hide their mistakes, the left hand never knows what the right is doing, dependencies blow up, and nothing can get done. But, at its core, what is transparency? It’s just being comfortable showing your mistakes. Embracing being wrong. More importantly, it’s creating an environment where being wrong is alright. Creating a safe place to fail and learn. What people often fail to realize is that this isn’t just for innovators, code labs, or startups. It’s essential to develop talent and hit the moving target we call value. Iterating a product or idea relies on embracing our wrongness.

What Can We Do

So, how do we get more comfortable with being wrong? Well, for me, the first step was W.I.F.M. What’s in it for me? Focus less on the emotions, and more on what you get out of it. Being wrong is potential. It’s an opportunity to correct an assumption or to gain a bit of wisdom. It’s also an opportunity to foster an environment where it’s safe to fail. Sincerely seeking out those opportunities and being genuinely grateful when someone helps you find them is disarming and contagious. Which brings me to my second piece of advice. Look for these moments. Gandhi said, “Honest disagreement is a sign of good progress.” Seek out moments of conflict. When you find them, try to be wrong. These moments are the best places to test our ideas and if we are lucky, gain a little bit of knowledge.

Yes, being wrong is scary. None of us like being wrong, but it’s not a bad thing. It’s an opportunity, and it is foundational to learning and growing as a person. It’s also foundational to almost every system designed to propel us forward. So, just for today, try to be wrong. Let me know how it goes. I bet it goes great. Or, maybe not. I could be wrong.